The Ten Commandments

  • 07:34 on 4th Oct 2016
  • By Charlie Brigden

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And God spoke all these words:

"I am Elmer Bernstein, who brought you great film scores, out of the land of decadence.

"You shall have no other gods before me. Okay, I’ll allow Herrmann and Goldsmith.

"You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything I hath recorded, even if it hath not been released. 5 You shall not bow down to anyone but Intrada Records, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who do not appreciate the golden age of film scoring, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and my score The Ten Commandments.

"You shall appreciate Intrada’s 6-CD boxset of this holier than holy score.

"Remember to listen to discs one, two, and three in a row, for they contain the complete score. Six days you shall have to listen to discs four, five and six, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns, but you should listen to To Kill A Mockingbird. For in six discs is a score that makes the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, jealous of its greatness.

"Honor thy stunning restoration work by Chris Malone and brilliant liner notes by Frank K. De Wald..

"You shall enjoy these glorious themes.

"You shall not ignore the original mono soundtrack album and the further stereo re-recordings.

"You shall tell all of the precious demos played on piano to De Mille.

"You shall not give false testimony on message boards complaining of something insignificant as if Doug Fake ran over your dog.

"You shall not covet your neighbor's copy. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife’s copy, or his male or female servant’s copy, his ox or donkey’s copy, or any other soundtrack that belongs to your neighbor."

When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they revelled at the absolute glory of this powerful score. They stayed at a distance and said to Doug, "Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But really, when is Remo Williams coming out?"

Doug said to the people, "Do not be afraid. We’re just still looking for the best elements possible."

The people remained at a distance, while Doug approached the thick darkness where Elmer was.

Then Bernstein said to Doug, "Tell the Intradalites this: 'You have seen for yourselves that I have spoken to you from heaven: Do not make any other scores to put alongside this, for it should stand on its own.”

"Make an altar of earth for me and sacrifice on it thy bootlegs thou have found. Wherever I cause my name to be honored, I will come to you and bless you. If you make an altar of stones for me, make sure my great score is playing by it at all times. And do not go up to my altar while listening to Hans Zimmer, or your private parts may be exposed.”

The Ten Commandments: 6-CD Boxset is out now from Intrada Records

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